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QUESARAH

Desktop Confessional

Job Hunting (Fishing, Shooting, Scratching, Eating)

Wednesday, March 30, 2005
1:40 AM

I never realized how tiresome looking for a job can be. Even though it's something as simple as waitressing, or standing around and waiting on a customer- there are forms to fill out, endless questions to be asked and lots of smiling to do.

As you may or may not have guessed by now- I went to look for a job today.

I've never really held a job before. Embarassing I know, for someone who is almost 20. I thought so too. I decided one night whilst studying for my final exams that I have to have some working experience before graduating. I needed to save up as well, and start acting .. more responsible. Learn where money comes from. Understand my mom when she goes into a tantrum when I decide to park in Subang Parade (RM2) instead of Carrefour (free).

Well here's the summary of the whole Job Hunting Experience:

I scratched a luxury car whilst parking. I'm not going to mention what luxury car it was in case the owner, in some weird karmic order, reads my blog and decides to send me a nasty email. I'm just paranoid like that. I made a particularly sharp turning whilst turning into a parking lot, while also on the phone with my dad and .. well. That's when I heard The Sound. I can't even begin to describe the sound of paint being scraped/scratched off, so I'm not even going to try.

I went out to check the damage. It HONESTLY wasn't that bad. HONESTLY (okstoplookingatmeifeelreallybad). So I did what any other inexperienced driver would do- I fled the scene. And went to park somewhere else.

:S I'm really sorry- whoever the unfortunate person was.

I also broke TGIF's pen while filling in the application. But it got fixed in about 5 minutes. However those 5 minutes between Pen Broke and Pen Fixed were tensed because- what kind of an impression would I make? Waitress breaking the tools of the trade: the pen.

I was starting to believe that it was not going to be my day at all. Everyone kept feeding me the same, "We'll call you/My manager will call you" line. Needless to say, I was beginning to get a little disgruntled.

However, on the walk from mall to parking lot, Krystle and I spotted a RM5 note. On the floor. Pleading for us to pick it up and fulfil it's rightful destiny- to be spent.

We spent the RM 5 on Dunkin Donuts.

I had a Double Choc. DOUBLE Choc. Hey if you're going to sin- you might as well go all the way.

Was happy again. Alls Well That Ends Well.

The Beautiful Letdown.

Thursday, March 24, 2005
11:53 AM

Everything's more interesting in retrospect.

Dear readers, how's it going? I'm on holiday right now, but before I go on- don't think the holidays involves me lying by some exotic beachside, sipping pina coladas while a bronzed Greek god slathers sun tan lotion on my back.

Ah such wishful thinking :(

I've been home, sleeping in and making up for all the sleep debt I've accumulated over the last few days of the semester. I feel good, refreshed, but I am fairly certain now that the eyebags will never go away. At 19, I am doomed to a life of looking like a blood relative to the panda, and not even half as cute.

It was a very.. interesting day I had yesterday. Those who know me will know that I use the word 'interesting' very generously and broadly. I use it when things are truly interesting and new, and then there's another way of using it: said almost hesitantly, with a big pause before the word. Blame it on a lack of a vocabulary, and a refusal to admit, right out, that I had a tough one yesterday.

But I've said it- I had a toughie yesterday. But like everything that was hard, and that bums you out, you always, always learn something. Over the years, I have learnt that shit happens and that's inevitable, but the more important thing is that you must ALWAYS learn something from it. It must always be a life lesson, or it simply becomes a haunting regret.

I'm not quoting Hallmark here, I am truly serious. :)

In retrospect, don't you always tell yourself that you "should have seen it coming", or "should've known" in some way or the other? Truth is, these kinda things can only be learnt once the event has come to pass. Otherwise, we live in denial; so content with our short-term happiness and so blissful in our ignorance.

Heh, it feels like we're playing a game of 'Spot the Cynic'.

Well, like a gloomy cloud that temporarily shades the sun, I woke up to a beautiful morning today. The sun is shining, but miraculously, it isn't hot enough to give you sun stroke. C.S.I is coming up in a few minuts, and tonight- I will be getting a beautiful slice of Heaven (as in Ghetto Heaven at Zouk) with a few of my bestest friends.

Life's so funny. One minute you're down, the next- you're up and raring to go.

I love you guys. Thanks for reading me :)

sarah.

Where the sun shines, please.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005
6:06 PM

Bukit Bintang on a lovely, sunny day


Ho hum. Doodling on scrap paper when I should be concentrating on Accounts. I want to be out. Out shopping, out eating, out driving, out with friends. I am now forced to be antisocial and keep inside my room. Pretending to study, but really just singing along with the radio.

Like my friends say, "When does sarah not sing?"

It's true- I have a tendency to sing and hum eveywhere. I study with the radio on, telling myself it's "background noise" but really, I'm just waiting for that one song to totally distract me. I sing in class, much to the annoyance of the person next to me. And I don't even sing that good- I think all this has to do with how I can't shut up properly. I hum during exams, because it makes things more bearable. My mind is like my iTunes; randomly shuffling through songs.

Don't you hate it when you're completely into a song and don't know the lyrics? Terrible, terrible. Ohgawd, I hate that.

I think I'm slowly losing my mind, blogging about nonsense like these. It just proves how much I want to be out right now. I want sun! I want Vitamin D (from sun)! I want leisurely lunches with friends!

AXN is going for the triple threat with CSI: It's Miami on Monday, Las Vegas on Wednesday (after Amazing Race 7) and New York next month. Whee- next month, when I'll be on holiday.... and out!

Speaking of Amazing Race, my loyalty lies with Amber and Rob this time. Mwahaha! So what if I hated them on Survivor; they make excellent tv. Rob should continue bribing every Tom, Pedro, and Lee (depending on location) for all I care.

I wonder if Phil Keoghan ever gets tired of explaining what a Detour and Road Block is. Because dear lord, I'm tired of listening about them.

On the American Idol side, MARIO VAZQUEZ LEFT THE BLOODY COMPETITION. Like, WTF? WHY? You were so amazing, Mario, why did you leave?! So what if you might be a closeted gay- we don't care! Come back! *sobs* How can you mend my broken heart? :(

And there you go, the 3 reasons I would leave my room for. I'm a TV junkie, make no mistake about it.

I watched Ray yesterday. Mygod did the movie run on for about 4 hours?? It felt like that. Very long movie, but superbly acted. You can see why Jamie Foxx won his Oscar.

The music was fantastic. I dug out my dad's Ray Charles boxed set after the movie. I got a little giddy when I saw "Produced by Ahmet Ertegun" .. I don't know why. I'm aware the movie's a biopic but, somehow it didn't quite register that it was a real story. So when I saw Ahmet at the back of the box, I was like, "Woah, it's all real and he's Turkish."

Seriously. What am I writing. I better leave before it gets worse.

Riot on an Empty Street.

Sunday, March 13, 2005
4:35 PM

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Tough, you think you've got the stuff
You're telling me and anyone
You're hard enough
You don't have to put up a fight
You don't have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight..


Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own, U2-- amaaaaaazing song. Its no wonder the band is still around.

Study break!

Tuesday, March 08, 2005
12:21 AM

Okay okay okay. I should very well be studying since tomorrow is a BIG EXAM DAY. Have to write 3 blinking essays. Not to mention that there's also another BIG EXAM on Wednesday, which typically, I have not studied one chapter of yet since I have been busy studying for the other big exam, which if you've been listening- is tomorrow.

I wouldn't really blame you if you lost attention and starting watching the fan whirl, because that was a fcking long sentence.

So don't judge me for being here! :( It's either I update or ... I eat. I'd rather update. :D

One of my childhood fantasies is coming alive. The Backstreet Boys are coming to town as a "force of nature" (*snicker*). Now dammit, why can't they have come 8 bloody years ago? Now I'm (turning) 20 and wishing for tickets to catch them live. Oh god, desperation/obsession never ends no matter how long you think they've died off. They've Wyclef and LAURYN FREAKING HILL as well.

So don't judge me, it's not just BSB, it's Lauryn ... ah cripes. I'm 19, and I stil want to watch a boy band get it goin' on. I deserve to be shot and dragged across Memory Lane. I have no excuses.

HAVE TO GO NOW! It's 1230 AM, studies at a standstill and exam is at 9AM!
Freakout!
<3

Sadturday.

Saturday, March 05, 2005
5:10 PM

What a tough weekend to endure!

Still have so many readings to sort through for my Comm for Social Development and Comm and Culture exam. Both very, very essay-oriented so it's unfortunately, essential that I go through the mountain-shaped pile of readings. Getting very tired of them now. Everything they say is predictable. Everything sounds the same. How am I expected to write a one page plus essay with points that just repeat each other?

My grandma's in the hospital again. This time, she slipped and fell during tai chi, and hit her head or something. I think she'll be alright; that's what everyone says. Weird thing is that they put her in ICU. What for, right? But I'm pretty sure she'll be fine.. anyway, will be going to visit her later today.

I would really, really love to go to Zoukfest, which begins very, very shortly. (About an hour plus). But it would be wrong. Conscience will be torn up over my studies, and would be disrespectful to my grandmother.

Wish my brother would hurry up home and give me my McDonald's. The whole thing screams comfort food.

"I'm sh-sh-shaking it, sh-sh-shaking it." Haven't heard this song in ages; Rooney makes the most infectious music.

Everyone have a good weekend now.