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QUESARAH

Desktop Confessional

The Need to Shake (Things Up).

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

I've been contemplating on changing my display pic (your left, dearest). And for the first time in my life, I have no proper pics to change it to. I gave up camwhoring the moment I got my new, bulky digicam; its frame making it difficult for me to strike a "pose" (konon) without getting a sprain later. Which is good anyway, because I've been camwhoring a looong time. See, I first got a digital camera when I was in Form 4/5, so that's like 3-4 years of taking pictures of myself! It has to stop sooner or later eh? And now it has. :( So now I have to resolve to cropping myself out of group pics, like back in the old days! (Circa 2002)

It's amazing how I can get so attached to something as trivial as a picture. I think when you let things be without shaking things up now and then, everything just becomes too safe and comfortable. Like right now, I'm still thinking whether to change it or not. I don't know why I bother- it's only a picture, after all. But this other voice in my head is saying, "But look how well the lighting of the old pic goes with this template!"

But it's true. We all get comfortable with routine, and safe measures to achieving what we want. If it ain't broken, don't fix it- right? Sometimes when I'm in the car and looking at the things that pass me by, I feel quite subdued by how familiar everything is. I can close my eyes and still tell you what comes after what store, etc. It's suffocating in a way, and that's when I really feel that I need to get away.

It's a love-hate thing with familiarity. I dislike it, and at the same time I need it to be able to cope when things get rough. Even simple things like watching TV every Tuesday night, or grocery shopping on Sunday morning .. these things keep me sane.

You can never win with yourself, can you? I remain as confused as ever about what I want- with my future and my display pic.

  1. Blogger xman said:

    hey i always liked that picture of you ;) no need to change lah!

    sounds like u have a photographic memory! very the rare one hehe

  1. Blogger kItttttt said:

    hehe i kinda like the older picture lorr.. it shows a much more mysterious figure... ahah just my opinion. both looks good anyway :)

  1. Blogger Saffron said:

    I liked your previous photo, people could see that you're a pretty girl, but it was cropped just enough to still remain tantalising. Full frontal shots aren't as mysterious. ;)

    On the upside, I can now confirm that I'm in your CSD class. I'm the tall specky always-absent 'senior' who usually sits behind your row in LT1.

  1. Blogger C.J. Fusco said:

    Hey. I stumbled across your blog during my random blogger surfing. I usually take one look at the blog but keep going. I actually read yours... you must be doing something right.

    I can relate to the picture crisis... I get sick of my profile pic every time I see it. It changes regularly.

    Anyhow, keep up the good work, and feel free to swing by my blog if you have a sec. -CJF

  1. Blogger C.J. Fusco said:

    Hey. I stumbled across your blog during my random blogger surfing. I usually take one look at the blog but keep going. I actually read yours... you must be doing something right.

    I completely relate to the pic-changing thing... every time I see my profile I want to change it. Needless to say, it changes a lot. At the same time, I love familiarity... I grew up with baseball, so whenever I have a game on TV even in the background, it is incredibly soothing. Just the SOUNDS of the game.

    Anyhow, keep up the good work. Stop by my site if you get a sec.

  1. Blogger MunKit said:

    nice change :)

  1. Blogger bayibhyap said:

    Both pic are good but I like the previous one a little bit more. :)

  1. Blogger LiEw said:

    not that this photo sucks but i love the older photo more...

  1. Blogger sarah said:

    alright then, looks like the answer's obvious- old pic! :)

    Saffran- say hi next time you see me. :)
    CJ Fusco- thanks for dropping by. i liked your post regarding the Twixties (sp?) and Garden State, which i am dying to watch.

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