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QUESARAH

Desktop Confessional

Mental gymnastics.

Monday, November 29, 2004
7:50 PM

God I'm so tired, and I've hardly done anything this whole afternoon. Spent the better part of it staring at MS Word trying to get some inspiration or idea about what to write for my assignment, and at the same time IMing non-stop. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe when I want to start on my assignments I should just shut MSN off.

(Like wtf sarah, duh.)

But it's just too boring to be doing assignments without any form of interaction.

Am supposed to write a little something on any social problem that seems to be an impediment to development. By right it should be quite easy but I can't seem to get myself to think of one that isn't too ... common. Ok there's pre-marital sex, abortion, gangsterism and all that fine topics, but those are the things that have been overdone to rubber-steak-like texture. (hieh?) So I went asking my IM buddies for opinions, but I think everyone's kinda stoned on a Monday because they were like:

"Well."
(.. minutes pass ..)
"I don't know la."

Fck you Monday for taking the IQ out of everyone.

But generally, I am still, just plain tired. Classes drag on like a snail race, conversations confuse me, and all that wishful thinking that takes place when me, Meesh and Regina meet makes me want to .. I don't know. I want to say stab myself but that's not really the right representation of what I want to do.

I've been told by many that I think too much and I got reminded about it today. Fo' shizzle (oh how I miss using this term), I don't deny that I think too much for my own good. I honestly do wish for a ThinkSwitch, that'll allow me to turn off the constant traffic in my mind, but I guess no matter how far technology has come, it hasn't conquered the human brain has it?

In fact, I got so into my own thoughts that I started boring an unfortunate friend about shopping malls, Marxist theories, commercialization and mass production. Good God I am sorry that you had to sit through my inane points of view. :p

This Xmas, it's going to be Regina, me(esh as well?) and a tree. I'm quite excited, in a dorky way. We're going to to crash at meesh's place and watch Bridget Jones' Diary and its sequel [tentative, unless we have something ahem, cooler to do]. Also, tis my first Xmas without my family being around so although it is naturally annoying, I shall rejoice over small steps towards independence.

*skips, hops, and twiddles*

Don't know what twiddling is doing in there, but who cares eh? That 70s Show is on.
(Assignment? What assignment?)

Hair scare.

Sunday, November 28, 2004
7:35 PM

I was at the hairdresser today, chopping off 4 inches of my hair. About time too. Hair was getting too long for my liking, and the ends were all splitted. I think the last time I was at a salon was in September and even then, I only took away a measly inch from what I had. But now yay, 4 inches gone. Still, hair can still be categorized as long... ish.

Received quite disturbing news from the hairdresser. I haven't seen her in a few months and today she was running her hands through my hair and said, "What happened to your hair??? Did you drop like half of it?"

I reckoned my eyes bulged. Dropped half of my hair? Oh shite, was it that bad? Granted, my hair currently is still of normal to above average thickness, but I admit, prior to me straightening my hair, the thickness was yeah, twice what I have now, Quite scary when I think about just how much hair I had for a Chinese girl. Thick, wavy, messy (still kinda actually) hair. It was the bane of my existence. Magazines told me that thick hair was a gift, but everytime I went to the salon they'll comb through it and remark (quite condescendingly) regarding how bloody thick it is. The waviness just added to the thickness in the sense that it made it look even "bigger".

Naturally, the salon people recommended one of their shampoos but my mom didn't want to get it for me. She thought I deserved it, what with me insisting that I wanted to go straighten my hair for the second time. And I'm quite stubborn so while she tried to talk me out of it, I wouldn't budge.

Lesson of the story: listen to your mother. *groan* Also, I will never straighten my hair again. I don't care if I'll have to have crazy hair for the rest of my life. As long as I still HAVE HAIR, that's good enough for me.

Bright side though: I do quite like my new cut :D

Sigh, and because I was out all Saturday and procrastinated most of Sunday away- I have got to start working on my Accounting homework. I've taken a look at the paper and bloody hell, what is going on!

During the current year, the assets of Sower Dial Co increased by $300,000 anf the liabilities decreased by $140,000. The owner's equity in the business must have (increased, decreased) [circle the correct term] by: $ ________________

Now I know some of you Accounting whizzes might scoff at the simplicity of the question and my genuine stupidity but hey, in my defence, I have not done any accounting work since Kemahiran Hidup in Form 3. So right now, I will just go and beg my 17 year old brother who is coincidentally taking SPM Accounting paper tomorrow for some help.

Oh yeh and Miss World tonight at 9 pm. So I like beauty pageants, feh.
.. apparently it is not on tonight. But Oprah was damn interesting- it was the episode where she goes around the world (yes the one with Paula representing Malaysia). The case from Rwanda made me want to cry.

Friday afternoon rambles.

Friday, November 26, 2004
5:21 PM

Friday. Fridayfridayfridayfriday. I love how it sounds, and the promise it holds! It's been a pretty good day so far. One class got cancelled so that meant one hour less of working hard not to doze off. Went for a college-organized get-together after class and got to know some people in my class. Am constantly amazed by how different other people live their lives. Here you are so obsessed with your own issue when other people are going through things which are 10x worse. This is a lesson for all of us to just be thankful for what we have now, and that it's bearable.

Currently, I know of two people who have been engaged in the past. When I heard, it made me ask the guy twice. I think it was a bit rude of me, but I thought I heard wrongly. Either way, I quite respect him for what he did. The break off an engagement.. that's got to take some guts. To even think about committing 100% at such a young age .. woah.

So you see, while you think you've got it bad, some people have got it even worse. Must make a mental note to stop whining, and generally being annoying.

Meesh and I realized we're quite offensive sometimes. In a sense that we can't resist a chance to pick on people. In good humour of course, not deliberately trying to be bitchy. People usually laugh, but I was thinking that there's a good chance we've been considered by many as very obnoxious people.

I guess right now I really don't care about what other people think. There's no way you can be friends with everybody, or liked by all, so *shrugs* whatever. I'm so used to being sarcastic that I can NOT resist to put in my one liners. I feel like Chandler on FRIENDS. Hur hur hur. My friend Krystle laughs at 98% of the things I say but as Meesh KINDLY puts it.. it's not that I'm funny, just funny looking.

Such a sweetheart, she is.

Was planning to go watch Alexander tmr but I heard it sucks so bad. Read on rottentomatoes that its a few steps away from a gay porno film. Huh?? Don't know how that can be, but I think I'll just wait for the (pirated) DVD to come out.

But still going for Sapu Sapu 3000 at Paul's Place tmr. If any of you guys are going, let me know. It starts around 4-5pm.
Til then, have a good weekend all.

Boys and their toys, girls and their ..(*rhymes*)

Thursday, November 25, 2004
11:13 PM

My brother just came back with a very bad sorethroat and a very, very expensive mousepad. Although I don't think he calls it a mousepad, probably something more sophisticated than that. I mean, chuh, RM99 spent on something that sounds as stupid as 'mousepad' is quite depressing. (Have you really thought of how absurd the word mousepad is? I just realized that)

Anyway. I hath asked the boy what he calls his little mousepad that came with its own silver box, and he says it is a "gaming mousepad". More specifically. its a Func gaming mousepad. I don't really know the significance of it being a Func mousepad but I suppose some of you will appreciate it. Eh? Eh?

Ah men/boys. And their toys. With clothes it gets tiresome after half an hour, but with gadgets, cars, etc they're willing to spend a little time and moolah.

I think its the same with women. You like stuff!, we like clothes and pretty sparkly things. The question of why women spend so long in malls should never be asked by males, because it's been asked for like, decades. Just get over it, find a better probe. The end result of both kind of shopping is the same: that woooooooooooonderful feeling that comes with getting what we want. Instant gratification, yay yay. Nothing quite like it.

++
My mom flew to Singapore this morning on a business trip. Lucky, lucky her. I mean yes, she has to work and stuff but no doubt she's gonna have a lot of fun too. It's like 2/3 days without her husband and kids- ah such sweet freedom. She gets to do what she wants and there is no one else's fancy to follow. I'm quite jealous. I won't be having an Xmas break (*huwaaah!*), and the tentative plan is that the rest of the Chans are going to Singapore (as we do every year) and later Seremban, while I stay home alone and watch the house. CHUH.

Quite scared la actually, being home alone. Probably sleep with lights on- by that I mean every light that can be switched on at home.

++
My mid-sem break is from Dec 31st to Jan 7, and the reallllly good thing about having no Xmas break is that I'll actually be celebrating New Year's Eve this year! No more staying home on 31st and stuff. I think I've been doing that EVERY new year, except the previous New Year's Eve. So I'm praying, praying that the HELLO2005! trip works out.

2004 is almost over, omg. It has been one crazy year. Complete madness. Entirely memorable. :)

The issue of hair, and some others.

Sunday, November 21, 2004
8:14 PM

My college is taking pictures for our new student IDs tomorrow. Had initially wanted to get a hair cut to go with a new picture. And also, wanted to have my eyebrows done to avoid looking like I might be growing a unibrow (kidding! It's not that bad la, really) It's been since September that my eyebrows have seen any sort of maintenance. How shameful :( The thing with threading eyebrows is that once you do it, you have to continue doing it because it grows in a most gross fashion and just the simple fact that threaded eyebrows look sooo nice.

But it is Sunday night and I will go to my photo taking session tomorrow with boring, long hair and eyebrows that Meesh will say, looks like it belongs on a Slavic wrestler. :( Don't want to look like Slavic wrestler on student ID which will last for 2 years! And I'm afraid of doing my own eyebrows because might end up having no eyebrows like, LOL, a friend of mine who will remain anonymous. (But yours has grown back now, bravo)

Reality TV is heaven sent, I don't care what the critics say. Sunday afternoon seems to be when StarWorld unleases everything from its reality TV folder into the world. To pass time, I was watching some American Idol repeat on 8tv (i think), followed by The Simple Life, Young Posh & Loaded, For Love or Money, and The Apprentice. I don't really follow any of these shows on StarWorld but it was quite an entertaining waste of time. I couldn't stomach Young Posh & Loaded for too long though because I wanted to kick that Fiona girl in the face halfway through. In general though, it is madness for people to have so much money and be so stupid. Those 2 elements should not gel, but unfortunately, they seem to be the most common mix.

Speaking of reality TV- AMAZING RACE IS BACK ON AXN! NEW SEASON! WOOHOO!

I've been wondering about the OST of my life. What songs would make it in there? Why? How do I measure significance of songs? Is this song the best representation of my memories? In the end of the day I couldn't decide on 15 songs because I got quite picky. I don't think I ever could come up with a soundtrack of my life. Could you? In 15 songs or less. It's harder than it sounds mate!

The first 3 days of my degree course has been rather uneventful, except for that 4 hour lunch I had with Krystle at Chili's. We just sat there, not wanting to move, or rather can't move because was too full. Chili's has a new rule now: you can't get refills unless you order at least 2 glasses of something. Shite! We started with one but that was not enough, so we ordered a lemonade. After meeting their 2-glass-policy they refilled our drinks with strange enthusiasm. Most of the times they'll be asking if we want a refill even before we hit quarter-done mark. Thumbs up for service.

I smell Monday around the corner. Noooo.. tooo... soooooooon.
(need to make MyKad soon, hopefully with new hair and eyebrows)

Hari Raya, Hari Gembira!

Monday, November 15, 2004
12:49 AM

Haha, I so don't know if I got the lyrics right. I tend to change frequencies everytime a Raya song comes about. Festive songs get on my nerves, be it Hari Raya ones or Chinese New Year ones. CNY ones are particularly deranged- especially the ones with a troop of little kids screaming on top of their lungs, banking in on the "cute" factor to mask the fact that they can't sing. At all. For physical evidence of this, please tune into Wah Lai Toi (channel 30 on ASTRO) come CNY.

Woke up bright and early today (well, it was still morning at least) and got ready to visit my lecturer's place all the way in Bangi. Well worth the half hour car ride though- his place is beautiful and the food, so damn good. Walloped the usual Raya goodies: lemang, ketupat, rendang, chicken curry and the nyonya kuihs. Caught up with some familiar faces from the Mass Comm. faculty of Taylor's. I heard that there's this famous, well-known TV personality enrolled in the degree program .. very well-connected and all.. but no one wanted to tell me who it was! It's supposed to be a surprise. Now Nov 17 is looking more and more interesting. (I start my degree on the 17th)

Headed to Pyramid a few hours later, with the main intention of catching The Incredibles. I've never seen Pyramid so crowded before. Had to wait in line for 20 minutes, all the time looking at the screens to see the availability for the movie. Was observing with such intensity that I probably resembled a broker at the stock exchange. Grew alarmed at the amount of kids running around the lines, ducking under the barriers, removing said barriers and dropping it to the floor.

More kids = probably watching animated movie, which could be either The Incredibles or Shark Tale. Was allllllmost at the counter when this family of four waddled to the counter and said "FOUR TICKETS TO THE INCREDIBLES!!", when all hope faltered. Sure enough when it was our turn, only seats left were the first row before the screen. So lemme see: have to twist head in most uncomfortable manner PLUS got a whole cinema filled with little kids, running around, crying, asking "Mummy who is that fat man?" ..

Left the counter with no tickets.

So we sat at McDs, also packed to the brim, and ate our sundaes. It was so packed that our first table was cornered by dustbins at both ends. Great location I tell ya, fresh burger smells. Eventually moved to a table which overlooked Sunway Lagoon and whatdayaknow.. Lagoon was also packed, despite it drizzling slightly.



So this was how Lagoon looked like from our table. Quite a popular place on public holidays eh. Wonder how it survives. On weekdays and normal weekends the place is quite dead. This is the first time seeing it so .. happening.



It was drizzling, yet this open air, al fresco like cafe was doing quite good business. People enjoying the view I guess .. view probably meaning women in swimsuits. HEE.



In certain cases, view could also mean an image of a man with Happy Belly donning reeeeeeaaaaaaaaallllllllllllly small trunks.

Had dinner at Manhattan Fish Market, did some window shopping (SALE EVERYWHERE MUST RESIST!) and came home. I had fun- doesn't take much to make me smile eh! And I'm watching The Incredibles Tuesday at OU. Whee.

Tomorrow's a public holiday so that's good news for everyone eh. So smile la. :)

Things that go BUMP in the night.

Friday, November 12, 2004
11:33 PM

No one really knows who lives in the house behind. The house had been empty for awhile now when a few months ago, there was an unusual amount of activitiy taking place, what with painters, construction workers and the like working around the clock and causing a hell lot of noise. But hey, we thought, we'll get new neighbours and the lorong behind won't look so gloomy at night.

Fastforward to Nov 12 and we have not seen the batang hidungs of our sorta-new neighbours. My bedroom window is opposite one of their bedroom windows, and I notice that their bedrooms have NEVER been lighted at night. It has always been dark, isolated and just generally strange.

I never really thought about it until my brother brought it up yesterday. Was just coming home from dinner when he remarked, "Dammit who lives there??". Then it hit me that I have no idea. I don't know whether it's a family, or like, a bachelor. There are no cars parked in the yard and everything is just DARK! It would be like a deserted house if not for the renovations and new paint job. Which brings us back to the main point- why spend so much money on sprucing up the place when no one apparently lives there?!

What we do know is that the house is owned by Indians. My brother woke up from his sleep one early morn due to what he thought were cows moo-ing. But, he thought, cows? In SUBANG JAYA? That just doesn't fit. But hey, there goes another moo! Whatever is going on? He went to his window and true enough, there was a cow in the house behind' garden. He reckoned it was a ritual, sort of like a house blessing thing.

But after that .. no signs of life whatsoever. Reminds me so much of that retro horror movie Fright Night. Strange house, no apparent occupants, turned out to be a home to vampires.

EEEK.



THE HOUSE! First pic is unaltered image of it, and the second has had its brightness altered by Photoshop.

The art of doing nothing.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004
5:46 PM

There are many things to be annoyed about, and one of them should not be the fact that you're on your break. 3 whole weeks, 21 days of doing nothing- what's there to whine about eh? Well wrong, since I am woman, therefore good at whining, I do have gripes about being on holiday. Without a car, without loads of money and without enough RAM on this computer of mine.

Let's see, where does the great whine-fest begin?

There's only so much hanging out you can do in malls. Same goes for that much shopping you can do. Oh yes people, I am at this moment (stress on "this MOMENT") declaring that I am .. er. Well. Getting a little tired of relentless shopping. ZARA, MNG, Topshop .. they're all becoming a big blur to me. The really nice stuff are new, and therefore expensive. The ones on the discount rack are always in sizes big enough to fit a cross-dresser and fraying at ends and stuff.

Speaking of cross-dressing, I was watching Oprah today. Yes the telltale signs of being bored senseless on a holiday is when you begin to rekindle the fondness you have for Oprah at 1 PM. I mean, the only reason why I wake up before 12.30 PM is because of that wonderful woman.

She had these guests on the show, and they were contestants in a show called He's A Lady. 11 men signed up for a show they thought was about male competition, pitting them against each other in mental and physical challenges and stuff. But oh boy, how wrong they were. What they had to do instead was learn to walk in the shoes of their wives/girlfriends. Meaning, yes, dress like a woman, act like a woman, get in touch with the feminine side of himself.

Aw man, it looks like a really fun show and it sucks that I'm on a Mac and haven't got enough RAM to go on a downloading rampage of that show. Everything I open up Limewire or whatever, my whole computer lags and lags.. the frustration is just not worth it in the end. I'd rather be happy and ignorant of new shows and music! :D

However if I did have the means to go on a downloading rampage, this is my TV SHOW WISH LIST:
1) Sex and the City, season 1-8. I've only seen the entire final season (9th). Others, just one or two episodes from a particular season. This is what happens when ASTRO is your main access to the series, and your parents usually sit and watch TV with you. So embarassing la watching Sex and the City with them around.
2) Scrubs season 3. Is 8tv showing season 3 now? I keep forgetting to catch it. But it wouldn't really be the best idea anyway, because that would mean catching the series right smack in the middle of the season. No syiok la.
3) Gilmore Girls, season 1 and the rest because I've never seen even one episode and everyone says it's so good.
4) The O.C, season 1 and beyond. They were showing it on 8tv I think, but I've never been able to receive 8tv until they had a channel on ASTRO. The soundtrack rocks though.

One of the things I always wanted to do whenever I visit a mall, is try to get a free meal in Dave's Deli. They have a policy, where if they don't issue you a receipt, you get a free meal. However despite numerous attempts at distraction, the receipt has always been handed to me with my change. DAMMIT. They must run one hell of a bootcamp/training session. Involving whips I bet. Hmmm. Nevermind.

I'm also annoyed that my mom only ever calls me whenever she wants me to take out the laundry.
And that my brother ate my lunch today. Plus the fact that he thinks putting the dishes in the sink equal to washing up.
So really, whenever I'm on holidays I'm more of a domestic asset other than anything.

Happy Deepavali, people! :)

I'm only happy when it rains.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004
11:26 PM


Pinang tree: Botanical Gardens, Penang


It's been raining furiously in Subang these past few days since I was back from Penang. Every evening, as if on cue, dark clouds gather and sounds of thunder could be heard, followed by really scary jagged streaks of lightning. (Although technically, it should be lightning and then thunder, as speed of light travels faster than speed of sound, bla bla bla). This is where I pull myself away from the computer and reluctantly unplug the modem. Hey, it's better than getting the modem fried and NOT being able to go online for days and days... the horror.

It looks like 8 PM when the clock says 5.30.

I had one of the best evenings yesterday, after it rained. It wasn't like "fuuyoh best, this is the time of my life" best. But .. :

These last few months of 2004 has been one of the busiest time periods of my life. There was the usual piling up of assignments and workload, nothing atypical. However, it being our final diploma semester everything seemed to have multiplied: the work, the stress, the doubts. Besides that, there was the organizing of the Dinner and Dance to attend to, and that was a big panicky rush; albeit one that paid off.

All work and no play makes sarah a dull chick, so there were those trips where I desperately tried to inject a sense of fun into my life. So off we went .. THREE times to Genting within a span of two months. This from a girl who until June 2004, have not seen Genting in over a decade. (Once it was to help at a Pakistani concert, hehe, yeah.) And Penang, twice in two months I believe. Once again, have not seen the island since I was 10.

So. I've not really had some time to breathe. Just inhale, exhale, think, contemplate. No quality 'me' time. And that's why yesterday evening was one of the best evenings I've spent.

Nice cold weather, due to post-rain-atmosphere (lovely!), opened up my iTunes after a long time of ignoring it, and listened to all those songs that was made for a time like that. Opened up the balcony door, to be greeted with fresh Subang air (rare). From my balcony, you can see USJ and Sunway, slowly lighting up as dusk turns to night. There was even a sunset going on, but partially blocked by the trees and streetlights. The sky was like a show of colours; red, purple, orange, yellow.

Nice. Beautiful. Calm. All at once. It's the simple things that matter, yeah?

*Misc.
Rainy Day Soundtrack

"Wouldn't It Be Nice" - Beach Boys
"At The Stars" - Better than Ezra
"Make It With You" - Bread (I KNOW, I'm turning into my dad)
"Wonderful Tonight" - Eric Clapton/Damage
"Here With Me" - Dido
"Caught by the River" - Doves
"Only You" - The Flying Pickets
"Hold On Hope" - Guided by Voices
"I'm No Superman" - Lazlo Bane
"Sunday Morning" - Maroon 5
"Always Take the Weather" - Crowded House
"Crystal Village" - Pete Yorn
"Destiny" - Zero 7
"Save Yourself" - Sense Field

.. and some others I can't remember. Dammit, need to buy CDRs to burn all these! Or does any kind soul want to get me an iPod? :D

Wanderlusting.

Monday, November 01, 2004
11:37 PM

I'm going to Penang tomorrow!
I'll have to wake up bright and early, lug my baggage around and fight dust and people at Puduraya. I have to sit for 4 odd hours in a bumpy bus and have to refrain from drinking water as my bladder control isn't the best. Boredom will eventually hit (although I have a bus-mate this time, yay) and I'll probably get sick of sleeping, and start watching the scenery outside the bus window roll along.

But I so love everything, even the boredom and long hours. Travelling is something I don't do, and can't get, enough of. I wannabe working for the Disovery Travel Channel when I grow up. But I guess that's the Ideal, who knows what the Real is gonna be like eh?

It's 1130 pm and I have not started packing yet. I have to wake up at 6 AM tomorrow.
HEE. I love procastinating, don't you?
I hope to take a hell lot of photos in Penang, hurrah. Haven't taken anything in months!
Anyway I remember reading on my Blogger Dashboard a few weeks back:
Ask readers to post a suggestion of photos they want to see on your blog. When you have taken enough, post the requests up!.
Or something to that extent. So, any requests? I'm game!
Gotta go pack now, it's getting late. Until then, here's a photo just for fck's sake.



Byes <3 !