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QUESARAH

Desktop Confessional

Good, better, best Friday

Thursday, April 08, 2004
11:04 PM


Church of Visitation, Seremban


It's Good Friday tomorrow, and Sunday is Easther. :) Which reminds me that I haven't been on an Easther egg hunt before. Actually, I have never even eaten an Easther egg. It's just chocolate-coated eggs right? Or.. chocolates in shape of an egg? Hmm.

Speaking of Good Friday, I will be watching Passion of the Christ on Saturday. Finally. But, I'm kinda scared to. I heard from people that it's like the goriest film they've ever watched. They said it was even worse than Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which is another movie I avoided like the plague because it was looked so damn GORY. I can't freaking stand gore. I hate slasher movies. I squeeze my eyes shut when ever I see someone's intestines and get damn disturbed when someone gets their leg chopped off when they're still ALIVE. I can't stand it- I'll just hide in my room until I hear that there are no longer any more screams coming from the TV downstairs.

So when people say that Passion is the goriest movie they've ever seen, I'm not sure how to react.

I should probably also add that people have said Passion, is the most beautiful movie they've ever seen. Everyone I know who has seen it claims to have come out from the film bawling their eyes out. A murderer actually went to the police and confessed to his crime after watching the movie.

Can you imagine how powerful this movie is? So gory or not- I'm watching it. Its just one of those movies that you have to see.

These days, I'm just really thankful. :) Especially right now. Happy, happy. So yeah, that's why I'm attending Good Friday mass. Because I'm thankful. Its one of those moments when you really like the position you're in. You've no complains or anything, you've no stress- major assignment of the week 98% done and you can take a 3 day break before starting on the next. These moments are short, like staccato beats on a piano composition. And like in a piano compostion, these beats add a little something to repetitious chords and melodies.

Yeah yaeh yaeh- I'm being completely, annoyingly lame but bear with me! Life is good right now and I can't help being swarmy. :p

Love is all around.

Friday, April 02, 2004
12:35 AM



I was lying on my bed the other day, head in the weirdest position, when I glanced at the side of my drawer and realized that there is a shape of a heart that I had never noticed before. Just when you think that the things that surround you every day could no longer excite you, you make a new discovery and you can't help but smile and take a picture.

.... I swear I had something interesting to say! But I've been sitting here for a while, typing and deleting sentences one by one. It's getting really annoying, but here's the gist of my thoughts:

Something about how I, or anyone, can say love is essential with the same conviction as did The Beatles when they sang "All You Need Is Love", and not have people look at you amused and make quirky, but slightly disparaging, remarks that implies that you're being this mushy, overflowing with sap, hippie girl who wants to wear psychedelic colours, put flowers in her hair and go hug trees. It's very difficult, especially since everyone's getting increasingly cynical and more dry-witted with their comments.

We're too cool to be hopeful and gullible! Cliched phrases are for losers!

Can't quite say I'm not 100% unlike that at times.

I've been forced to read the newspapers more often these days because I've a weekly quiz on current events. I detest it but I have to admit, the idea's genius. Sooner or later, reading the newspaper for quizzes will evolve into a habit and that has got to be a good thing. It's so pathetic to be a Journalism major when you mix up Ariel Sharon as the Palestinian president and Yasser Arafat as Israel's prime minister. Oh, the shame, the shame!

There's too much tension in the world. Tension in South Korea over the election results. In South Thailand. In Kosovo. In Madrid.

My own personal life is not spared from tension. There has also been misunderstanding, bitterness .. a lot of ugly business really, in the area that is college. I hope that has been resolved because there really isn't any need to be angry over an issue such as that.

What else? The revelation of mortality; the possibility of losing a loved one- a big ass slap to the face. The importance of family support and love. Sacrificing things you've grown accustomed to. Sharing all aspects of your life with someone else; letting that someone else in.

Only 4 months into the year, but I honestly feel that I've grown up a lot.