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Desktop Confessional

Why do you want to make sense?

Tuesday, September 21, 2004
9:28 PM

I deleted a post today. If you didn't read it, be grateful. It was me in Great Self Pity Wallow that usually comes before the menses.

My menses is late by the way and I worry. You worry when it comes (fcking stains), and you worry when they don't come (immaculate conception). In the end it all boils down to a lack of attention in Biology.

But yes it better come soon as I have a party this Friday and my ball this Saturday. My body doesn't seem to get the hint that it is going to 'party'. I'm fairly sure it has forgot how it feels like to 'party'. Therefore, it needs to come soon because I cannot be expected to be all crampy and 'party'.

THE BUDGET, a magazine my team and I are coming up with, is er, coming up nicely. I've a group of people who work round the clock. Like from 1 to 12, yo. And then there are the slackers. Well there's just two of them. One, I'm not too surprised because he's like that all the time. At least though, the work he hands in is pretty good. The other, I am sorely disappointed in because she's never kept her deadlines, and has an excuse for everything.

And because Meesh is Bad Ed and I am Good Ed, I have not the heart to tell her (slackergirl) off. So I just look away everytime she's around. Very hard to look someone in the eye when you don't really trust them anymore.

My prom dress is unravelling at the hem. I don't know why. Stupid RedRumMurder. I take this as a very bad sign. I probably will be called out as winner for Lucky Draw, and I will celebrate. Only to trip over my extremely cute shoes and fall on face.

Not to mention that my mom is shocked by my dress. I wouldn't blame her, she's into all the plain black, or plain blue, bla bla bla. My dress is funky, my mom is not.

I shall be cast in stone for brief moment of disloyalty.

It's raining outside and it rains in my head. These are times I wish that alllllll I had on iTunes are Radiohead, Coldplay, John Mayer, Aqualung, etc. But no, I have stupid hell Rancid and Britney Spears' Toxic. Stupid shuffle button.

I feel quite vulnerable tonight.

Hold me!

(that was in jest, get your hands off me you filthy animal sheesha ladeeblabla)

Left-handers are l337.

Thursday, September 16, 2004
10:42 PM

I think I might have sprained my right arm. Badly. So badly that I am now typing with my almost useless left hand. Showering was torture, using chopsticks was torture, brushing teeth was torture. I'm practically disabled now.

What happened was.. this afternoon I was mopping the floor, and I went a little bit over-enthusiastic with the floor wash. So, the entire area was really slippery and I stupidly forgot to switch on the ceiling fan to dry the place up faster. While I was mopping, I slipped, and my right arm broke my fall.

When I hit the floor, I could FEEL my arm bending. It sounds strange, but oh so true. The next few minutes that followed had me grasping my right arm in agony, and just having those silent screams. I couldn't move my fingers, I couldn't angle it to ANY degree.

This is the reason why God made you an ASS. This is why asses are so cushion-y. You're supposed to fall on it, you stupid bitch, not on your right arm. OMGWTF.

My right arm now is of no function to me, as every time I try to make some use of it, a sharp pain shoots up its length! Like, that exclamanation mark I just typed. Using the DEFECT ARM to hold down the Shift key made me want to chop the whole thing off.

This couldn't have come at a worst time. I have like, TEN (10!) articles to write over the weekend and they're gonna take extra long now because I'm typing with only ONE HAND. My LEFT hand!

Not to mention that the Dinner and Dance is NEXT SATURDAY. What if I go to the doc and she says "Sarah, you need to wear a cast."


Trust sarah to come to her prom wearing a goddamn cast. There's no need for that Autograph section in the program book now, is there?

I needed a fix.

Monday, September 13, 2004
8:55 PM

I spent 12 hours in college today. 12 freaking hours. That should be outlawed, shouldn't it? I didn't really have a choice. There were things that needed to be done, and I really couldn't leave my friends with so much work on their hands.

Now I'm back home and still, I feel so restless with the amount of work that I have piled up in my imaginary IN tray. I know I should be getting on with my article about Skype, or even the one about Music Canteen, but I'm so fcking tired and stoned right now that all I want to do is lie on the couch and watch a really long movie filled with spectacular stunts and escapist romance.

But I know I can't afford to waste 2 hours, so I go back to Old Faitful (the Internet), throw my laundry into the washing machine and eat about a few million pieces of Andes mint chocolate. I think the chocolate has worked its way into my bloodstream because I can see clearly now (.."the rain has gone! I can see all obstacles in my way!").

For the interested, let me just say here and now that the workload in my final semester in OVERWHELMING. A very good example of the weight of work would be last Friday: a debate (we won), a Marketing quiz (I passed) and THREE articles (I dieded).

Other shite in my toilet (what a horrendous analogy):
1) Creating a magazine for Journalism 2. We're called The Budget- We're not Cheap, We're Free.
2) Finishing up Social Psych assignment and preparing for its presentation.
3) Economics assignment.
4) Marketing assignment which I really, really don't know what it's about.
5) Dinner and Dance stuff. It's next Saturday, OMG! I can't believe all that planning it finally coming alive.
6) Photo postcards assignment for Feature Writing.
7) Possibility of another debate against the winning team of the PR class. OHDEARGODPLEASENO.

To say that I needed a vacation would be an understatement. There was one planned for Penang this Thursday but has been postponed due to some matters. But it's all good I suppose, I'm going up in October. Finally. I think it's been a decade since the last visit. O.o So going to just lie around and be waited on when I'm there. AHAKS!

On the plus side of doing so many assignments is that I got to go visit Music Xchange last Thursday. I've heard so much about it and always wanted to go but never had the chance, but the ed of The Budget assigned me and Regina to do a review on it and OMG, that place is such an eye-opener and jaw-dropper.

It's on Jalan Walter Grenier..

.. along this row of shophouses. Hint: it is blindingly orange.

And if you're blind or something and CAN'T, for some reason spot the orange among the drab, then just look for the bloody yellow VW.

One step inside and I was so, so amazed. The collection of vinyls, CDs, records, posters and other paraphernalia is MASSIVE. It's like High Fidelity, KL-style.

A wall of Rage Against the Machine posters on one side..

.. and more eye-popping-ly, a WHOLE WALL of Beatles' stuff. Vinyl, magazine covers, etc. Just... woah.

Pictures from the concerts/gigs the owner went for when he was freelancing.

And last Saturday, I found my prom dress. Oh sweet relief. I was beginning to think that I'll never find it as have looked everywhere. And I found shoes as well. In one day. *smug* Girls, you know that's rare. :p I would put up a picture but Meesh Kebab said NO! YOU HAVE TO SURPRISE PEOPLE! ETC!

*deep breath* Ya know. Who needs pills when you have mindless blogging to cure that twitch?

Where are you going?

Monday, September 06, 2004
11:32 PM

Monday being Monday is hard enough as it is without having to recuperate from what seems to be, the best four days you've had this year. Last week was a big, important week for me and some of you may/may not know why. I guess if you follow my inane ramblings, you would have an idea or two. Unless you're really dumb dim la, and I refuse to believe that any of my readers are because it takes a certain IQ prerequisite to understand my highly intellectual writings.

And if you didn't know I was kidding with the intellectual writings comment, then you are one of my few readers who are just er, slow. Tis ok, maybe you're just a late bloomer.

It's hard to capture in words all the things that happened between Thursday and Sunday, as words, in this case, doesn't do justice to the amount of fun I had and how .. well, happy I was. I find myself staring into space a lot today, as my mind would wander off from the lesson at hand and just revisit the moments from the weekend passed. It's a guilty pleasure, the revisitations. For one brief moment, I let myself indulge in simplicity of the past but in the moment after that, all I get is sharp bittersweet pangs.

So before I write myself to death, I'm just going to keep a little bit of mystery about what went on Thursday to Sunday (now known to me as the Big Weekend Extravaganza), and leave you with some pictures from DAY 1 of the BWE. Mainly shots from the Islamic Arts Museum and the Kuala Lumpur KTM station.

Rich Chinese businessmen from yore used to sit in chairs like these, lounging and smoking opium with two servants at the side.

If there's one thing prevalent in the architecture of the Islamic Arts Museum, it's glass. First pic is of the museum's Turkish restaurant, and the second one is sort of like the lobby of the second floor. It's spacious, white, very white. Pure, almost, with lots of natural light streaming in.

I've always had a thing with spiral anything, from notebooks to staircases.

I thought this lamp/light was rather unique.

"I am no superman
I have no reasons for you
I am no hero, oh that’s for sure
But I do know one thing:
It’s where you are is where I belong."
Dave Matthews Band, Where are you going?

More from Friday to Sunday, soon. Assignments are piling up, and I have a whole bunch of CDs to review. Snow Patrol's one of them and they are SO EXCELLENT. I've listened to the album once but I like it already.

To fill or burst, to break or bury.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004
9:50 PM

Greetings from an eMac. The PC I've been going on (and on) about is finally, well, gone. There's just an empty space on my table now, as well as some dustbunnies. I guess my table will now become the official dump area for my files, research papers, notebooks and shopping bags (hopefully more shopping bags than research papers).

Being on a Mac again feels kinda funny. The monitor is so fcking huge compared to that of the PC, but everyone's photos look so BRILLIANT. The composition is just amazing- really clear, nice contrast. It's also pretty nice to go back to my 704 mp3s. I just listened to Wilco .. man, does anyone remember Wilco? I heard they got a new album out. MSN Messenger for Mac still pales in comparison with the one for Windows. For one, I don't see anyone's picture, how sad. No sharing applications, no games. Not that I ever used those features before but hey, I like having the oppurtunity to. Oh yeah and no Skype as well. No way I'm gonna have Skype sessions in the middle of my family hall.

But anyway, despite loss of beloved PC, there are other things to be happy about.

Happiness is:
1) Cadbury's Hot Chocolate drink, with a slice of watermelon. On the side, not in hot chocolate.
2) Friends you love and who love you back, and who are honest with you.
3) No class this Friday.
4) Stumbling upon a boutique which sells really cheep clothes.
5) Going on a photojournalism assignment with whole class to the Islamic Arts Museum.
6) Freshly washed hair.
7) A stranger asking you to write for him because he reads your blog and likes what you write.
8) "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

Unhappiness is:

Tomorrow is Thursday. And the one song that fits it to a T (for Thursday, haha), the one song that really defines how I feel right now is Hands Down by Dashboard Confessional.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me,
So won't you kill me, so I'd die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst; to break or bury,
Or wear as jewelry- whichever you prefer.

I need my beauty sleep. Be gone dark circles! (And pls go away, big red pimple on chin.)