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Desktop Confessional

Have you thunk today?

Monday, July 05, 2004

I've been thinking today.
Tis a rare occurence, but I do have a thought or two tumbleweeding through the empty wasteland that I call Mind when the mood strikes.

So we were in class, and we're listening to our seniors tell us about their misadventures as interns/trainees in the industry. The industry here being media/communications. One was working for a production house, where else two were working for NSTP: one in Malay Mail and another in New Straits Times.

The accounts of the two working in the newsroom was captivating. From what I heard: it is a ruthless industry. There's a whole lot of backstabbing and betrayal, as well as general bitchiness. Editors can be the biggest assholes you'll ever meet, but never burn bridges. Don't ask too many questions, go out there and learn. Assertiveness is a quality much desired in this line, as well as self-esteem because you WILL get knocked around a lot. As a girl, be careful, you'd get hit on a lot. Vulgarities are as common as the flu. Every 2 minutes, someone's throwing a raging tantrum. Smoke and drink, smoke and drink. You work round the clock, and there's no such thing as an off-day. It's not just a JOB, but a lifestyle- and you're married to it for as long as you're working there.

But it is a rush, and it is bloody exhilirating. You get so absorbed with your work and your passion for it, that it becomes an addiction. You live to work, and though you complain- you love it all the same. You got to have passion for what you do or everything will just feel fcking wrong.

Natasha (lecturer, used to be in the industry) looked on with glazed eyes. When they were done, she laughed and said, "That's 99.9% true of what the industry is like- and I miss it! I really do. Hearing all this is very nostalgic."

But, she made a choice. She left an industry she clearly loved because she wanted some normalcy that the industry could never provide. A social life, some time for herself, her health, marriage (she's engaged), family. If she would have to continued working the way she did, none of the above would ever work out.

I truly respect her for what she did.

It sparked off questions in my head: if I were her, would I be able to do that? Give everything I've worked for, and something I love, up? Just pack, wave and say "it's over". Everyone says this industry is addictive. Would I be strong enough to say "no more" to this addiction, and revert to living a simpler, less complicated life? Without the adrenaline high, without all the drama? Would I be able to prioritize what's important in life?

At 18, I can say that work is not the most important thing in life, and so is money or reputation. Family, love, friends, your health- they're the things that matter ultimately. But, I know myself well enough to question what I would do and think when I reach that point in life where something needs to be sacrified, in order for everything else to fall into place.

When I get there, I want to be able to make the right decision and I'm scared that I'll forget all about this entry I made way back when I was 18.

  1. Blogger Adam said:

    Was in the same line for sometime before I got fed up and left the industry. However, I learnt a lot and helped me with my present job which involves a lot of reading and writing too.

  1. Blogger sarah said:

    it seems like a lot of people in that line eventually get fed up. it must be that stressful eh? but you're current job sounds cool.

  1. Anonymous Anonymous said:

    Being an intern myself (ending my internship soon, whee!), I'll have to say that what's important is that you get to learn, instead of rotting away by doubling up as a dish washer or sweeping the corridors. I try not to look at the money part (but sometimes it's hard to ignore, anyway). Anyhow, it'd be great if we can spend the next three decades working on something we love, and not work for the sake of well, work.

    - Strizzt

  1. Blogger sarah said:

    Hey, congrats on the end of your internship! where did you work?

    i'm studying something i totally love right now, so everything's good. as for work and the future, i can only hope.

  1. Anonymous Anonymous said:

    Priorities change as you grow older. What might be important today will be less important tomorrow. But so far, your priorities seem about right. :)


  1. Anonymous Anonymous said:

    Sarah - Heh heh, can't tell you where I work at (yet). Maybe next time. :) Good to know that you love what you're studying. You may love your job, but not the workplace. Think meticulous bosses breathing down your neck everyday...

    - Strizzt

  1. Blogger sarah said:

    lets hope they remain about right ;)

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