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QUESARAH

Desktop Confessional

Rides of your life

Thursday, July 31, 2003
3:58 PM



My apologies to all my friends for not updating my blog these days. It was a week of writer's block, feeling completely uninspired by everything. The only thoughts floating around in my small humble mind was that of "Fuck CR!"

*bitches and moans about it*

I took a cab back from college today after a session of group study. I take cabs so easily and readily these days that it kinda amazes me. A few years ago, the thought of entering a cab alone would cause my parents to go into protector mode ("No no I will take you, I will take you") and me being all happy that I have a driver but annoyed at the same time that I wasn't allowed to take public transport.

Not anymore.

I've been in tons of cabs alone. Although I know quite a few people hate the idea of taking a cab alone because of the risk of meeting a serial killer, I don't mind it. So, from all my cab rides I have realized that cab drivers, like everyone and everything else, have categories. I know it's shitty being labeled and categorized, but all that spare time of solitude at the back of a cab has given me loads and loads of time to think.

The best kind of cab drivers are the ones who smile at you and say "Thank you" after a ride. They engage in small but nonetheless amusing chats with you about the song being played on the radio, family, religion, philosphy, etc. They talk about Malaysia's infamous traffic jams and entertain you with their stories about all their memorable customers in the past. These kind of cab drivers make the usually dreadful minutes in a cab whizz by and when you've reached your destination, it feels like you've made a new friend although you've only known him 15 minutes. They are honest people trying to make a living. And they speak English! You don't know how great it is to have a cab driver that speaks English!

The silent cab drivers are the ones I meet the most. You open the door, mention your location. They nod curtly and you get in. The rest of the journey remains silent. I like these drivers. They don't ask too many questions and you are left with minutes to look aimlessly at familiar scenery. One time, I got into a cab and the driver misheard me. He thought I was going to USJ 18 instead of SS18. So, when he missed the first turn, I got a little worried. When he missed the second turn, I panicked and thought, "That's it. These are my final minutes. I am going to die here". I finally told him (with immense, though fake, calm) that he was going the wrong way. There was a moment of surprise in his eyes but gah, he still kept quiet and made a U-turn.

And then- LORD- we have the final species of cab drivers. The worst of the lot. The perverts. To be stuck in a cab with a cab driver who keeps looking at the rearview mirror to check out your breasts is a lot like hell. I usually shift and sit behind the passenger's seat when I see this happening and pray that he gets his eyes gouged out and fed to Koi fishes. Also, there will be the predictable, lame ass, sure-sign-of-a-perv questions:
1) "Adik dari Jepun? China? You tak macam lokal."
2)" You cantik la.." (A girl might be flattered at any other time this is mentioned, but by a dirty, disgusting cabbie- UGH, ICK.)
3)"You dah kahwin ah?" (Do I look that old?)

... and many other stupid, annoying questions and remarks that make you want to hurl on his face. There was once my friend and I took a cab from Pyramid to SS15 for some mamak and the driver was another pervert. He asked the same questions and was also eavesdropping on our conversation. We were talking about my friend's dad's friend who owned a club(s) in Bangsar and the guy was like, "Oh, you go Bangsar ah? I go too. Yesterday I go" in broken, heavily Malay- accented English. We went "Uh.. uh.. erm" and before we left (hurriedly) the cab, the bastard gave us his number so we will call him the next time we were going. GOD.

So you see that is why I like cabs. They're so interesting and the show only costs you less than RM10, depending on where you go.

Listening to Good Charlotte's "Day that I die"

Bang the drums for the weekend!

Friday, July 25, 2003
9:58 PM

I think I can say that I have a prolonged weekend as starting from today, the whole of the Mass Comm. program will be on its mid-semester break for a week. We will return to college with less enthusiasm than before because we return to face a week of examinations.

Six subjects. All of which I am completely lost in. Miss Karam substituted a class today and gave us a few simple questions and I realized in horror that I couldn't answer them without the help of my notes. I couldn't even answer one particular Q even with the help of my notes. This only made me realize how far behind I am in my studies, and as usual- being the nerd that I am- I had visions of failing this semester and repeatng it. Truth be told, I personally think I am slipping in my assignments and quizzes. It feels like I don't give a fuck about them anymore. I don't put as much effort into them as I did the previous semester.

So, the next week will be my personal hell. A week of flipping through my lecture notes and handouts, trying to figure out what everything means (especially Comm. Research). It doesn't look like my 18th birthday would be fun at all what with mid-sem exams. Actually.. I think I would rather just celebrate it after the exams. I think it's better- everyone would have a reason to celebrate. Me: my delayed 18th celebration, my classmates: the demise of the mid-sems. What do you guys think? (Cheryl, if you're reading- let's go Bangsar on the 9th, can?)

Anyway. Today the program had a pot luck for the students and lecturers. I felt quite bad leaving earlier but whatever la- I wasn't feeling like Miss Social, I was tired (from lack of sleep) and was hungry. At the pot luck, Lisha (or was it Nisha?) came up to me and asked me to join the Mass Comm editorial board. Apparently, we are coming out with our very own newsletter. Well it's about time. It seems kinda funny and weird that a program which produces journalists have no newsletter of their own. So yeah, anyway- I said that I would be happy to join but I wonder now if it was the right decision. I mean, it's a cool idea and I am all up for it- I just hope that I can juggle all the assignments too.

Tomorrow's my grandma's 80th birthday.. will be driving (not me, obviously, as P licence remains unused) to Seremban. That woman is incredible. She is old but yet, still has the mental vitality to nag, gossip and play mah jong. When most elderly citizens are off to bed at 10pm, she stays up till 3am, gossiping about other family members and nagging my uncles and aunts that they are cheating at mah jong. You know who she reminds me of? Raymond's mother in "Everybody Loves Raymond". She even has a head full of pure white hair.

Hope to be like her when I am 80. If, that is, I reach 80.

Can't wait for a whole week of waking up at an inoffensive, sane, normal hour!! Will finally have a good night's sleep. Yay.

Listening to Justin Timberlake's "Senorita". I love this guy- he is soo hot.
"It feels like something's heating up, can I leave with you? I don't know but I'm thinking 'bout, really leaving with you"
Gonna start dancing around like an insane person again. Who's with me? MAY LYN?! I know you like this song! Play it now and dance with me!

Dancing down memory lane

Wednesday, July 23, 2003
6:51 PM

I am boogie-ing while sitting down.

I am feeling so happy, innocent and childlike. And nostalgic.

The reason? Since yesterday night, I've been downloading songs from Take That. Anyone remember Gary Barlow, Jason Orange, Howard Donald, Mark Owen and Robbie Williams- all five combined to make the fab group of Take That?

If you don't, you don't know what you've been missing! I don't care if Take That was manufactured- they were my first loves. I cried when the news of their break-up was announced. Listening to them brings back only good memories of me in standard five, sitting with my best buddies and teasing the two boys at the back. It brings back memories of being in the school's choir and slathering on Abba-style blue eye shadow during my first choir performance. Yuckily enough, it also brings back the memory of the hideous yellow dress with puffy sleeves and lace that I had to wear for the performances. It reminds me of secret clubs that were formed to go against the "jahat" girls in the class. The only odour that I sense is the smell of rubberbands being used to make tali getah; the only taste that lingers is the one of stale currypuffs being sold at 20 cents per piece.

The past is such a great place to visit. Once in a while, heh.

Take That "Never Forget"
We've come a long way but we're not too sure where we've been
We've had success, we've had good times- but remember this...

Been on this path of life for so long- feel I've walked a thousand miles,
Sometimes strolled hand in hand with love- everybody's been there,
With danger on my mind I would stand on the line of hope,
and I knew I could make it,
once I knew the boundaries I looked into the clouds and saw,
my face in the moonlight,
just then I realised what a fool I could be,
just 'cos I looked so high I don't have to see me,
finding a paradise wasn't easy but still,
there's a road going down the other side of this hill

Never forget where you've come here from, never pretend that it's not real,
Someday soon this will all be someone else's dream..this will be someone else's dream

Safe from the arms of disappointment for so long,
feel each day we've come too far,
yet each day seems to make much more,
sure is good to be here,
I understand the meaning of "I can't explain this feeling" now,
and it feels so unreal,
at night I see the hand that reminds me of the stand that I make,
and the fact of reality

And we've come so far..and we've reached so high
and we've looked each day and night in the eye
and we're still so young..and we hope for more
but remember this
we're not invincible,
we're only people.

Late night confessions

Tuesday, July 22, 2003
12:14 AM

Admittedly, it is not that late at night.

But that's besides the point.

I've just finished reading June's and Meesh's blog. The thing that linked both blogs together was the fact that they both wrote on past friendships, long and forgotten, wasted and regretted.

I hate the fact that people come and go so easily in our lives. We spend countless of hours with people we think will last our entire lives. We make silly pacts to conquer the world as a music group. We sign our names along with meaningful/meaningless things like "Friends Forever".

Friends Forever, really? Honestly?

How many friends do I have who used to be extremely close to me but has since been reduced to those "Hi" and "Bye" friends? I am too embarassed to even begin to count the amount. These were the friends I spent the best part of my fourteenth year with. These were the friends who were there when I had my first relationship (so-called). For God's sake, these were the friends who paired me up with him. These were the friends whom I used to sit around with at a mamak, shooting limau seeds to unsuspecting patrons.

Look what happened to us? Both parties admit to being sorry that we let our friendship down. She even wrote in my yearbook, "it's so sad that we are not close anymore". Yet, though being sorry, we don't seem to care about the possible revival of our friendship. Maybe it's because we both still had other, closer, friends to be with.

I think.

I went to Midvalley with a few of my closest friends two days ago. Most of them I've know for at least 10 years. We went to the same primary school and got through the hell of secondary school together. College isn't wasn't supposed to tear the incredibly strong bond that we had created between ourselves. How often do people stand the test of time together and remain friends for well over 10 years?

I think... I thought..-damn I don't know what tense to use- we were one of those groups that will LAST AND LAST. (Like cockroaches.)

Things are different now. Of course, we are still close but things are different. No one was really interested in hanging together for the longest time ever anymore- we're all busier than ever. We all gravitated towards different things, all answering to different interests in the form of the shops in MV. It might not seem like much- for friends to sometimes disperse and go into different shops- but I felt awkward, a little uneasy with everything. I was a little upset too because the differences were beginning to show, but I kept it hidden. I'm very scared at the possible thought of losing their friendship. I cannot imagine my life without their friendship for as long as I can remember, I have had them in my lives.

I really don't know. I have lots of good friends in college now, I love them loads, but everyone yearns to keep those group of friends that went through sleepless pre-IU-Day nights with you; the group of friends who cursed the same Biology teacher as you; the same one who stood in the perhimpunan line with you, making up words to 'Negaraku'.

It was only last year. But it seems like they are memories from an age I can barely remember.

Of Metrosexuality and Manukan Island

Saturday, July 19, 2003
1:01 PM

Manukan Island

Gah gah gah. I'm bored on a Saturday afternoon. My brother just asked me to accompany him to go accessory shopping. My brother is one of those Metrosexuals that everyone's been talking about.

Metrosexuals aren't homosexuals or bisexuals- in fact, they're as straight as can be. Metros are guys who are not afraid to go shopping with girl friends, washing their face with face wash rather than soap and actually caring about their appearances- hair, etc. Some Metros paint their nails, some don't.

The biggest example of a Metro is David Beckham. The guy goes for highlights, expensive haircuts, paints his nails black and wears a sarong. He doesn't even care if the tabloid finds out. He's just too secure in his masculinity to care. Who wouldn't, if you're one of the best athletes in the world (I love Beckham, I hate Real Madrid. EPL is never gonna be the same again).

Another is Justin Timberlake- he cares so much about his appearance, esp hair-wise. I can't remember who else they (Netscape) listed but, oh yeah- Ben Affleck. I think Ben just signed a deal with Revlon or L'oreal to promote some sort of cleansing wash. So yeah- Ben's another Metrosexual.

I like the idea of Metrosexuality. Hell, I would love to date a Metrosexual. Think of the benefits- you can book a table at a fancy restaurant and rest assured that your significant other knows that he absolutely cannot come in ripped jeans and a "I'm With Stupid" shirt. Also, a Metrosexual would definitely be a great dresser and guys who dress well are really, really hot. They can be hideous, but if they dress well- it kinda balances things out (I can see that I'm shallow). He wouldn't complain that you need another pair of shoes but would maybe even accompany you. He'll buy nice gifts that go well with your personality and life because he doesn't mind spending a few hours in the shopping mall looking for the best gift. Say goodbye to really annoying things like the customary necklace (bought because he is simply out of ideas) or a subscription to FHM (it's really only for him to ogle at).

I'm letting my imagination run away with me again.

Amazing Race was in Malaysia last night!! Kota Kinabalu! Does anyone else watch this show?

I was so excited, the whole family was so excited. We were all twitching in our seats and admiring how beautiful Manukan Island (near Sabah) is. You never realize how beautiful your country is until they feature it in a show or something. I think it's because you spend a significant portion of your life contained to certain areas in Malaysia and therefore you can never appreciate Malaysia- lush tropical jungles, amazing islands and the various ethnics (or maybe because your country being in a show adds some sort of glamour touch to it?). I was ecstated that they had their Detours and Road Blocks in Malaysia and not like the previous season where they spent like, 15 minutes of TV time in KL and rushed off to Singapore. I reckon they will still be in Malaysia in the next episode, so I'm really excited.

I hope I bump into David and Jeff... or Reichen and Chip. Or better- the clowns! Yay yay. The gratification I get from using the media is escapism (heh heh).

Listening to Lifehouse "Sick Cycle Carousel"

Wants. Needs. Desires.

Friday, July 18, 2003
7:41 PM

It's the weekend again. That Father Time (FT) is one mean bastard.

I get very paranoid when I look at the posts on my blog. I remember the last time it was the weekend very well. Freaks me out that the weekend's here again. Freaks me out even more to realize that time is quietly passing me by without me even noticing it. It's like when you're walking home from college- now, that's a delicate matter. It's an emotional matter. One, you're depressed because it's hot and the walk is uphill. Then, you feel ugly because you're sticky from sweat. Finally, you're pissed because cars are whizzing past you with their passengers all comfortable in their air-conditioned, leather-seated accident machines.

What has walking home from college got to do with time? I don't know. It's one of my stupid, meaningless symbolisms. I guess.. in my head, I'm thinking: I'm struggling to reach home, my destination- my wishes and ambitions- and FT is being a jerk by speeding in his Mercedes and mocking me. FT is merciless, he doesn't care that you're a paranoid almost-18-year old who thinks her wants in life will never be realized and is under the impression that she will end up a fat, bored housewife in 30 years time (sound familiar, Lyn?).

Yeah. I'm paranoid, I'm nervous and I'm worried that I'll never achieve what I want. It doesn't seem like there's enough time in my life to boost the chance of achieving what I want. I know I'm being stupidly whiny because the voice in my head is saying, "God. You're 18. You still have loads of time". I know that's true, Mr Voice.

But I can't help it. I don't think anyone can think about their future and not end up worried that they'll end up homeless, or depressed, or worse- dead at 35. I think I'm selfsh. I think I'm a dreamer. I want all my dreams to come true. *I sound like a Disney film*

I want..
1) To travel the world. I want at least 10 stamps on my international passport (not the one that allows you to travel to Singapore only). I want my home to be decorated with wooden figurines from Bali, boomerangs from Australia and a preserved ice-cube from the North Pole.

2) To study and live in New York. I want to be part of the City that Never Sleeps. What's so amazing, to me, about NY is what it says in the tagline: it never sleeps. The thought of owning an apartment high above the city, looking at all the lights while you're battling with insomnia seems.... breahtaking, even though the image was conceived in my head.

3) A relationship. What's worse than ending up as a fat, bored, housewife is ending up as a fat, bored, desperate, single maid.

"Quiet" by John Mayer
midnight
lock all the doors
and turn out the lights
feels like the end of the world
this sunday night

there's not a sound
outside the snow's coming down
somehow i can't seem to find
a quiet inside my mind

3:02
the space in this room
has turned on me
and all my fears have cornered me here
me and my tv screen

the volume's down
blue lights are dancing around
and still i can't seem to find
the quiet inside my mind

daylight is climbing the walls
cars start and feet walk the halls
the world wakes and now i am safe
at least by the light of day

at least by the light of day

Unfathomnable

Tuesday, July 15, 2003
9:31 PM

I can't really understand what exactly is happening to my dad.

He just bought my brother a Fender electric guitar and a Marshall amp for his sixteenth birthday (sweet sixteen, indeed!). He did call me earlier to ask what colour my brother would like but I thought he was just looking; not like he would really buy it THERE and THEN.

But he did. My brother burst into my room looking all shiny and happy and asked me to come look at his present, and I knew that my dad bought the guitar for him.

Yesterday he allows me to get a tattoo and today he buys a guitar for my brother so he can finally do all the "distortion shit".

I am truly, truly amazed. My dad is running for the Best Dad award, I think.

To the aliens who have taken over his body- thank you, welcome, please stay.

PS: LOL, ahahahahaha.. well it seems like I don't have to put the infamous Matthew story that got both me and Ee May laughing our heads off in class today as I see she has already posted it on her blog. HAHAHAA, LOL. Oh Lord. It's incredibly funny! Hey, P'ng: I still laughed when I read your blog, ahahaha. LOL.

Excitement's spilling over!

Monday, July 14, 2003
10:30 PM

So, just about 15 minutes ago I was watching Tech TV and they had this program called 'Plastic Surgery' about, well, cosmetic and plastic surgery of all sorts (d'oh). The last segment was about tattoo removal and so at the end of the program I commented to my dad how cool I thought a tattoo was.

Dad: You want one?
Me: Yes...
Dad: Ok lah, get it.
Me: *stands shocked* Really?
Dad: Yeah, really. Where do you want it? What do you want?
Me: Um.. on my back. A Chinese character that says 'strength'.
Dad: On your back? But no one can see!
Me: Yeah but it's for my own satisfaction!
Dad: Oh true, true. But you have got to be very scientific about it. You can get AIDS and all ..
Me: Yeah I know. *stuffs today's The Star's Metro section in his face* There's this place in 1 Utama called Dragonfly and it's quite reputable. It came out a few times in the newspapers and they have franchises here and there.
Dad: Really now? *takes newspaper* Well. Okay, get it.
Me: *still shock* I can't believe you're being so cool about this. I thought you would never allow it!
Dad: I am very liberal, you know that!

OH MY LORD! I CAN FINALLY GET A TATTOO WITHOUT EVEN GOING BEHIND MY PARENTS' BACK! THIS IS INCREDIBLE! HALLELUJAH! I LOVE MY DAD! *dances and skips out of her blog*

Untitled

Friday, July 11, 2003
11:28 PM

Dooweedoo- 'tis the weekend again!

Today has been pleasantly boring (eh?). Had to be in college until 1pm instead of the usual 11am because of Moral Ed. Had to watch Moses part the Red Sea, free the slaves and climb Mount Sinai (Moses- the every man!). Unfortunately, we haven't reached that part yet. Hope I didn't ruin the ending for some of you. This is one movie which I can say is better than the book e.g the Bible.

IMC assignment was due. I had to correct the cover of my assignment as it wasn't centered enough, so I rushed to Lab 4 to do it as I didn't want to be late for ME. I got a computer easily enough but my printing one sad, solitary page took more than 10 minutes because this idiotic, nerdy-looking guy and his friend at the printer was printing what looked like thirty pages worth of an assignment. The annoying thing was that he kept going, "Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Still mine. Etc (not much variation with the words)" as the pages were printed. AUGH. Hair-pulling.

Lunch was spaghetti at Tuna Twist with Lyn, Angie, P'ng and Huey Teng (teeheehee- I spelt it right! Not like someone *looks at Lyn* LOL). Had a nice conversation with them about everything and everyone. Love my classmates- they're so nice and interesting to talk to. Feels kinda strange that it's already the second month of having new classmates from Group 3 but still haven't had lunch and a real chat with them yet. When I think back in Sem 1, most of us had lunch with everyone else in the class by the third week or so. Well, whatever. I guess it takes time. They're all really nice so I'm sure we can get along.

Finished the book 'Shanghai baby'. It was alright, very poetic. Am gonna start 'Life of Pi' soon. Called my friend whom I haven't spoken to in a month and yakked about music, movies and other friends. I think I have decided my must watch movies for the next two months to come:

1) Bruce Almighty- Jim Carrey! Wee!
2) Pirates of the Caribbean- Orlando Bloom! Johnny Depp! Woo!
3) League of Extraordinary Gentlemen- Stuart Townsend! Yip!
4) T3- Arnie Schwaresomethinglong. Erm.. he's cool.

Dammit. Have to go for my old school's Interact Club Installation tomorrow. Will be so bored. Don't really fancy the idea of going back but they called me personally to invite me and I just don't have the heart to say no. But the incoming president's a real sweetie so I think I'll go for him. The bright side is that I will be meeting up with my two good friends (whom I haven't seen in a while too, sigh) later. Bad part is that I have only RM5 in my wallet. And my bank's in Penang! *sob* Daddy.... come back..

Loneliness is bliss

Wednesday, July 09, 2003
6:11 PM

Aww bless. I love it when I am alone in my house. No one to squabble with over bathrooms (read: brother), no one to nag me about the unwashed dishes in the sink (read: mother and they are not my dishes), no one asking me to play Bob the Builder with him (read: father came back with Ikea stuff yesterday, had to help install the shelves with him). It's just me alone in the most comfortable place in the world with my music playing out clearly. When the house's filled with the 3 other (haha) people, the noises mix and mingle until it becomes something so completely annoying and grating that it really should be considered as noise pollution.

My dad with his oldies that can sometimes drive me up the wall (you know the song 'Downtown'? He put it on repeat mode last week) or the incessant shrill noise a power drill makes that resembles one of an ambulance siren.
My brother with his metal/hardcore/industrial music (eg Glassjaw) pounding behind the green (a dark shade of green. Not very nice, clashes with the rest of the rooms' doors as they are white) door of his room.
Me in my room, trying so hard to listen to the soft wails of Coldplay or Mayer, or trying to locate the beats of a hiphop song so I can 'bounce with it' (LOL).
My mom downstairs with the TV on at a considerably high volume because she can't hear anything with the noise upstairs.

It really is a mess during the weekends. There's just too much activity and energy in the house, kinda suffocating really. Everyone's in and out and minding their own business but unconsciously stepping on everyone's toes at the same time. It's a mixed blessing I guess- everything feels chaotic but calm at the same time. Calm because somehow you feel secure. Make any sense?

However, I can't wail til the day I go overseas, away from security. I can't wait for the day I start getting pangs of home-sickness. Simply cannot wait til the day I begin to miss the chaos and noise pollution, and start downloading the song 'Downtown'. Woohoo. Just a few more years.

Note: Britney Spears has admitted she is not a virgin. Hahahaha. I find this fact extremely funny. I think no one really believed her when she said she was. Maybe with the exception of twelve year olds. I don't know. The news is all over the Net- Yahoo, Netscape. Shows how much power she has although she is a so-so singer (amazing entertainer though). Apparently, she also smokes and drinks- woohoo, you go girl. It's time you broke free from your (fabricated) squeaky clean image. SHE HAS ALSO ADMITTED TO KISSING COLIN FARRELL. AUGH! There's no fucking justice in this world. *grumbles* She gets to shag Justin Timberlake (yes, I do think he is one hottie) and kiss Mr Farrell. And Charlize Theron is with Stuart Townsend.

To hell and back with the vampire, Lestat

Monday, July 07, 2003
9:52 PM



What is it about dark, brooding, mysterious, wavy haired, suicidal-looking men that make me go mad? Is it because I think I can save their souls? *pause for laughter to die off* Is it because they have this immense, almost suffocating aura that hypnotizes you? Is it because of their come-into-my-soul eyes? Is it because Stuart Townsend is absolutely gorgeous and sexy and hot?

I watched 'Queen of the Damned' on TV last night. The movie bored me. It was disappointing especially when I remember the mad hype that surrounded the movie two years ago (plus, the fact that Aaliyah died shortly after the movie was completed *sniff*). Compared to 'Dracula'- the one with Gary Oldman, Wynona Ryder and Keanu Reeves (!)- this one kicked a rat's ass. 'Dracula' freaked me out. I was ten (or so). In two hours, I was exposed to blood, gore, romance, sex and .. erm.. Keanu. It was an amazing movie. The ending kicked my human ass. Once you get pass the dead-for-centuries fact to Dracula- he is actually so romantic. He became the UNDEAD because his wife killed herself. GAWD. How genius can that get? Making you feel for the villain who deserved the stake through the heart/axe through head/holy water through body/sunshine through window*. (I wonder if 'Dracula' won any awards.)

Anyway. 'Queen of the Damned'- yes. I say the movie was bad because it failed to scare me. Me- the one who cannot stand horror movies. The one who couldn't sleep for two nights after watching the English version of 'The Ring' (the light above my bed was in the shape of a circle. I kept hearing Samara's voice in my head- "before you die, you see the ring"). Also, I found it hard to keep a straight face with the song 'Get Down with the Sickness' pounding behind one of the supposed 'scarier' scenes (Ha. Ahahaha. That song is hilarious). The scene would have been more effective if they used some gothic, medieval music (it's official- modern music spoils everything. Heh). AND (yes! I am in movie reviewer mode!) I hated how Aaliyah's role was so underplayed. The way Akasha died was.... unsatisfying. I expected something a little more dramatic. So why did I watch on? "Lestat.........".

Well back to reality. Angelyn bought a skirt today that had the word 'Angel' splashed across her bum. It was so cute. I think it's cool to have a name that could be shortened to something that's interesting and meaningful. If my name was shortened and the shortened word (with me so far?) was splashed across the back of a skirt, the word would probably be SARS. That is just too depressing to contemplate. Won't somebody just bite me? (Lestat! Lestat!)

*I am not sure how Dracula died. It's definitely one of the above.

Saturday afternoons of boredom

Saturday, July 05, 2003
3:58 PM

*yawn* It's Saturday, perhaps the laziest day of the week. Right after Friday (the best day of the week!) and right before Sunday (day of obligations- I'm not talking about religion alone). It's 3-something in the PM and I have already had my lunch and completed the week's grocery shopping (with my mom). So now I am just sitting opposite my computer screen, completely bored and doing random things online, i.e being nosy by reading other people's Blogs, doing quizzes on eMode, listening to music and searching for stupid things on Google. Hey guys- do you wanna see something hilarious? Go to Google, search for "weapons of mass destruction" and then click on the 'I'm Feeling Lucky' button. You will get the coolest Error message ever. Seriously. I kid you not!

GOD. Do you know how long Angie, May Lyn and I were at One Utama's parking lot yesterday? ONE HOUR. We were circling the entire parking lot like some hungry vultures or something, pulling our hair at everytime we missed a parking space to the car in front of us. Stupid drivers everywhere, parking in non-existent parking lots. Angie accidentally bumped into a car in front and two stupid bitches (that should be a new cartoon) came out and raised their voices (and arms) at us even though it was just a SLIGHT BUMP (come on- we bumped at 3 km/h or something- the parking lot was soooo packed!). There wasn't even a dent or whatever! Fucking old bitches. Just because we are younger they think it's okay to act all fucking superior. I wonder what the HELL was their problem. It must be menopause. Or the fact that they are 40 and still single and unmarried. Whatever. (Man, I am feeling bitchy today. Must be PMS or something, heh.) So anyway, in the end we got a parking space. I didn't buy much- just earrings and a present for my friend. We had Baskin Robbins' ice-cream- w00t! (Maui Brownie Madness is heeaaaveeen).

At night, went to Gazebo to celebrate my friend's 18th. Met up with some old friends whom I haven't really spoken to in a while. Found out SAM was a bitch and that my uncle who lectures Malaysian Studies for A Levels/SAM in Taylor's is extremely long-winded (look at the length of this post- it's definitely in the family). So this post signifies the end of my week. Sunday will be another new week (they just pass you by, don't they?)! Hopefully one worth blogging about (and if it isn't, I'll just rant and rave anyway).

Before I go, guys- make use of the Tag-board yeah? *points to the dark blue box on your left* Cheerio. Have a nice weekend.

A little class reunion

Thursday, July 03, 2003
10:44 PM

I've been invited to one of my secondary school friend's surprise party by another friend. This will be my first party in ages. Seriously, I can't remember the last time I attended a party (see, see- I am lifeless).

I'm glad to be going- it will also be the first time that I will be meeting up with my old classmates. I've missed them.

However, I'm also kinda nauseated with the thought that I will be meeting some (SOME, I stress) people that I try my best to avoid. See, all my ex-classmates are dead smart. They were the types that obtained straight As in SPM and cry over an 88 in Add Maths. Of course I am fine with them being smart, but I am not fine with some who use their intelligence to bring down less-Science-and-Maths-inclined people. Like me. I suffered a little during the last two years of secondary school being in the same class with those 'braggers'. They just made me feel bad about merely passing Chemistry and failing Physics.

They wanted to be chemical engineers, scientists. Couldn't understand how anyone could do something as 'trivial' as Mass Comm. Real idiots. I hate these kind of people.

You know- I really DO hope they become scientists. I hope they become like Isaac Newton. Except, instead of an apple dropping on their heads- I hope a durian drops instead. Or a watermelon*. HAH.

Anyway, wish me well and that I survive the party without having me ego crushed.

*Unfortunately, watermelons grow on the ground.. dammit!

Random acts of blogging

Tuesday, July 01, 2003
5:47 PM

1) It just stopped raining and the weather/atmosphere outside is amazing. It's cool, windy and not bright at all- as opposed to the weather earlier today: mad hot and glaringly bright. Went to my balcony just now and pretended to be a character in a movie- contemplative, with wind blowing at hair (though it wasn't music video wind, it was the kind of wind that blew hair into your eyes and ears). Acted all mysterious and pretended that the music from my computer was from the soundtrack of the "movie". Hah- I am so lame.

2) Mom's birthday tomorrow- she is 46! She looks a little younger though.. methinks it's because she really invests on her skin (she once spent RM1K on Shisheido products! Eek!).

3) Have managed to induced BridgetJones-Mania on May Lyn. It would be a matter of months before I take over the world, mwahahaha...

4) Having first major skin break-out. Have pimples everywhere. Am resembling/turning into Adrian Mole.

5) Have a feeling that I will do really badly this semester. I can't seem to grasp IMC, CR, ME and CS. *sigh* If my feeling turns into reality, the effort I made in my first semester will be totally wasted.

6) Looking forward to PS tomorrow! There will be PASSION! There will be POWER! There will be DRAMA! Yes, indeedly.

'some things in this world you just can't change..some things you can't see until it gets too late'..matchbox twenty's "Bright Lights"- on repeat mode!