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Desktop Confessional

When you can't sleep, you should write.

Monday, December 08, 2003

8 Dec 2003, 2.27 am

It's so painful when you're so sleepy and tired, but your mind would not shut down. My bones are aching and my eyes are dull and lifeless, but my mind wanders and a million thoughts jump on each other, intermingle and become a series of nonsensical sentences and scenarios.

I end up being awake until an unhealthy hour and this, especially, is torture as the last thing I want to do is think, but think is all I can do right now. My mind travels a thousand miles and over the past few days, months, years. I replay every mistake I've ever made and I see, as though in video, the best and worst moments of my life. I regret things I've said, and things I didn't say. I think and I remember until I eventually drift off to sleep.

I do love how everything is at night, but this does not mean that I enjoy being played around by my body and mind to stay up all night. Not when I feel so tired, and not when I'm stuck in my room.

"All that is gold does not glitter .. not all who wander are lost."
>> JRR Tolkien

  1. Anonymous Anonymous said:

    Thanks for an explanation, the easier, the better …

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