<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d5464479\x26blogName\x3dQUESARAH\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dTAN\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttps://quesarah.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://quesarah.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d7415884441658524259', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>


Desktop Confessional

Across the universe

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

"Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup, they slither while they pass they slip away across the universe.."

My brother and I do not have very thought provoking conversations. We usually talk about music, movies, the local school idiot and about Starbucks' Rhumba Frappucino (sp.?). But last night, while both of us were looking at Mars (still visible!), we started talking about the universe.

I wondered, out loud, if it were possible that there are 10 planets out there, that there is one beyond Pluto. He looked at me and said, "No, not in our solar system anyway. But God knows how many solar systems are out there. I mean the universe is infinite, it never ends." I told him that it was scary, to have something exist and never end. Can anyone imagine it?

Endless. Perpetual. Forever. Perennial.

It's like a novelist writing a masterpiece, an epic of a story and then is indecisive about how it should end. He leaves it, waits for his muse to inspire him- to provide him with an ending that would not disappoint the rest of the story.

Do you think the universe is forever? I don't. It's just a theory, I believe, and there is no proof. I know it doesn't make much of an argument- to say one thing to be false just because there isn't proof. The universe is colossal, maybe there is an end but just too far away for anyone to reach. Does that make sense?

I just cannot fathom the concept of something ... so enduring. I want to believe that everything that begins has to end. Like life (physical, not spiritual). I certainly would not want to be an immortal. I cannot imagine torture more agonizing than to have to live forever, not finding truth in cliched phrases like, "Life is short- live it to the fullest" or "Carpe Diem". Because, how can you truly enjoy life with the knowledge that you have enough time to do everything? I can't. Lack of time is one of the most effective catalyst for me. It makes me shut up and actually do something. If I were ever given the luxury of time, I would never have completed anything. And this, I think, contradicts the notion that more time results in better work.

So now, if everything has to end- how do I feel about the end of the world?

Sad. Very sad. Science makes it up to be something very factual, and very logical. Life on Earth has to end, they say. "The Sun will eventually burn up the Earth." The only comfort we have is that by that time, organic life will be irrelevant, they say. I will be dead by then but I still wonder how Earth will be like when the day comes. I wonder if we would have already set up civilization on some other planet to escape the end. Or whether we would all be praying to our gods, sinners and saints together.

Universe, you facsinate me. If only I can tell you how much I am disappointed that I will never be an astronaut and find myself physically among the stars. If only you can see how much I long to see galaxies; galaxies that swirl with a million colours. The most breathtaking beauty I know, even though its beauty is something I have not personally seen. What I have now are images from films, but beggers cannot be choosers and I am happy with that alternative.

"Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes, they call me on and on across the universe.."
>> The Beatles, "Across the Universe"

leave a comment