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QUESARAH

Desktop Confessional

Celebrate the fear!

Friday, August 29, 2003

My five-day Merdeka weekend began today. I am happy but so dulled with the thought of doing absolutely nothing this Merdeka. It pains me to no end that even on a celebration, I have to assume the role of a 10 year old, stuck at home with parents who will no doubt be watching all manner of celebrations through the TV set. Brings back memories of my painfully boring Millennium celebration 3 years ago. It was me, my brother and my cousin standing on the balcony watching the fireworks being set off at Sunway Lagoon (I can see Sunway from my balcony). An occasion that happens once every thousand years and I spent it on my balcony! I then lied to my friends that I spent it at some happening place and then changed the subject abruptly.

Speaking of my cousin, he called me today and asked the most hilarious, but very puzzling, question I have been asked in awhile. He called and told me he was in Sungei Wang, and if there was a place that sold dildo(es). I laughed out loud before he laughed along (nervously) but insisted on a clarification of the famed-dildo-selling place. I replied, yes it's called I Need House and no, I don't know where it is, please look at the directory.

The world is so preoccupied with sex! Everywhere I go, it's just sex, sex, sex. I wonder if it's a guy thing but I figure no, because I think about sex too, but maybe not within a 6 seconds span. Only everytime I watch Justin Timberlake gyrate on MTV. Or Colin Farrell running along the beach in the movie S.W.A.T. I definitely don't think of sex when I see this:

Look, tongue!


Ugh, Britney. This is such a transparent and obvious publicity stunt. You think she would be a little smarter and go kiss Madonna in some club and let the paparazzi take unauthorized snapshots and sell it to tabloids. At least there would exist an element of mystery about whether she really did kiss Madonna, much like the Drew Barrymore-Heather Graham kiss-or-not issue. Now everything is just too blatant and moms everywhere will throw a fit if their little girl starts listening to Bad Britney.

I am so inane, I'm sorry. I just had a really annoying day. My dad has seven fishes and I am afraid of each and every one of them. He bought some little fishes as food for his bigger fishes last night and kept them in this seperate aquarium. I don't know why, perhaps the little fishes smelt death, but today they started jumping out of their tiny aquarium. 5 leapt out and when I got upstairs they were all lying lifeless on the floor and one was still jumping. I got so freaked out to the extent that I screamed. It was a few minutes later when I decided to get the broom and sweep the dead bodies away. I would NOT touch them, not even with a tissue. I am just so morbidly afraid of fishes, of any kind. And rats. Also, actually, ghosts. I envy my dad because he just picked up a dead fish from the floor (I missed that one) and tossed it into the aquarium of the bigger fish. Without worry, without fear- just like that.

Jealousy for my dad's fearless behaviour burns in me.

"I am colorblind, coffee black and egg white. Pull me out from inside. I am ready, I am ready, I am ready, I am..fine.">>Counting Crows

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